If you just sent your kid off to college, their childhood bedroom is probably stuffed with their things. Whether neat or chaotic, you may have feelings about it. I recently worked with a client who handled his kid moving off to college as an important time to set boundaries in a very loving way. Here’s how to handle transforming and organizing your college kid’s room into a hotel room. If your kid is a bit younger, tuck this away for later. If they are older and still have stuff at your house, look for advice at the end.
It probably helped that this particular kid was leaving for her second year of college. She had attended a university nearby, but in a few days was going to be getting on a plane to a much warmer climate.
Dad was very proud of her, but he wasn’t interested in keeping a shrine in her old bedroom.
Is this Organizing Advice NOT for You?
Let me just pause here, because there are all kinds of ways to be a great parent. If you strongly believe that your kid’s stuff is holy, your kid is a genius, and it’s your job to be the caretaker of every little thing they’ve ever touched, then this article isn’t for you. But if you are balancing the value and space in your home with the desire to help your child become independent and learn to live within their constraints of space and money, there’s a gem here for you. As always, take what works for you, and leave the rest.
Parent + Teen Expectations for Organizing When Leaving for College
In this case, dad scheduled an organizing day with daughter, and we were the support team. Our organizing team of two was ready to diffuse any tension as we moved, organized, and edited her things.
They both were a tad bit anxious at the start. Dad set the ground rules:
“My kids are always loved and welcomed here. But once they leave for college, they should consider their room a hotel room. The rule going forward is: carry in, carry out.
Bring what you need for a visit, but don’t plan on storing things here.”
Dad wasn’t being mean. He had already stored dear daughter’s old dorm room fixings for months, after she left her previous university. He himself was planning to move, possibly even moving abroad. He already was paying for a storage unit, and had really resonated with my article called, We Need To Talk About Your Storage Unit. (click to read)
He loves his kids, but not their teenage junk. He was willing to ship things of value and buy replacement furniture and storage for the new dorm all the way across the country. Buying online is sometimes/often cheaper than shipping low-quality items.
When we met the daughter, she started with a bunch of what ifs:
What if I need hangers?
What if I want to store some winter things?
What if something is still in good shape but I don’t really want it?
What if I think my mom might want some of my old apartment items?
Instead of answering, I suggested that we actually start the SORT and Succeed process, and answer concrete questions, not theoretical questions.
She agreed that she will want some new things on arrival, and didn’t need to ship or keep everything. She was even happy about the thought of finding some missing items, including money, in the clutter. She also agreed to let us help her make decisions quickly so we could end by our scheduled time, giving us a little less than three hours to get her ready for her big move.
Organizing Categories for a College Kid Leaving Home
The organizing session went wonderfully. Both dad and daughter worked together the entire time. No one even raised their voice.
We started in the garage, then cleared out her things in the basement, and ended in her room. Together, we cleared out three areas in less than three hours, which is excellent organizing work.
In the garage, we set up the critical piles, and then moved them into the other areas.
Usually the main groups/piles are: Toss, Recycle, Donate, and Elsewhere.
But this case we required a few tweaks: Toss, Donate Today, Bring to Mom’s, Pack to Ship to University, Clothes to sell.
The garage and basement things went pretty fast because they were piles of dorm things that had been moved out months ago and dumped at home. She packed the high-quality personal belongings (jewelry, clothes, electronics) in bins to ship. She donated almost everything else easily. Dad was thrilled to be able to park in the garage again and not have trash bags and stacks of plastic storage bins and drawers in his basement office area.
Organizing Clothes for a College Kid Leaving Home
When we got to her room, we had several huge bins of clothes to sort, as well as the desk drawers. In addition, someone had piled nearly all of the linens in the home on her bed, not really her problem. These are both perfect SORT and Succeed projects that took just a few minutes.
We sorted the linens, then tossed the stained, uncomfortable fabrics. We returned “missing” pillows to dad’s room. We put sheets into the wash immediately. We made the bed with the rest of the bedding. Quick tip that I’ve showed you before: store your extra bedding on the guest bed, not in a closet taking up space!
Sorting clothes went more slowly, but the daughter was willing to play along to hit the appointment deadline. Here, I reminded them of Darla’s Wardrobe Laws (click to read). In a nutshell, if it makes you feel fabulous, keep it. If it is stained, needs mending, the wrong size, itchy, or you’ll just likely never wear it for some other reason, even if it cost a lot, let it go. She reduced her storage from three HUGE bins down to just one bin plus a basket of purses. If dad decides to move, he can either ship this to her or put in a short term storage locker. All of the clothes she’s packing are cute and are her favorites. They are worth shipping out to her new home in the suitcases recovered from her piles in the basement.
I reorganized the desk, so now most of her desk drawers are empty, and the few items that remained could be emptied into a moving box in about five minutes.
When College Kids Don’t Want to Lose a Memory
The one thing that they disagreed on was a tiny little soda/makeup fridge that was on her desk. He was adamant about donating it. She wanted to keep it, not as a fridge, but because all of the cute stickers she had put on the front. In the end, we couldn’t find the cord, so it wasn’t donate-able, and it wasn’t worth shipping. She took a picture and said goodbye to it.
How to Turn Your College Kid’s Room Into a Hotel Room
At the end, I packed my van with the donations, and she packed her car with her things to ship via UPS.
She had a huge bag of clothes to sell at Plato’s Closet, a resale shop. She told me the last time, her bag was twice the size, and she made only $30 on items she sold, but to a college kid, that’s better than $0.
By the end of the day, dad got his wish: his college kid’s room was functionally a hotel room. She had found all the items that she had “lost” when moving from her previous dorm. She shipped out a few bins that day, and packed the rest in her suitcases. Daughter and dad agreed on a short list of things to buy for her new apartment, and both were happy.
My Kid Won’t Organize Their Room Now that They are in College
You might be right. Organizing their old stuff in a room they don’t live in anymore is pretty low priority to a busy college kid. Also, it might be a bit frightening, if they feel like their parents will pressure them or yell. Bringing in a pro organizing team, like ours, to guide the process using SORT and Succeed helps them accomplish what they want to do quickly, and helps preserve the parent/child relationship…because we’re doing the negotiating, not you.
My organizer on this team is younger than me, so the daughter was happy to take fashion advice from her. She had also lived in the area that the daughter was moving to, so when the kiddo proposed that she take some sweaters and coats for “just in case,” my organizer was able to give her the 411 on why that extremely hot weather area didn’t require coats and sweaters. Hearing good information from someone who isn’t your parent or spouse often has more weight, as frustrating as that is for family members.
My Kid Already Left for College, and I’m Stuck with their Clutter
You know your kid best. If they need to know their bedroom is still there for them, if you have the space to leave their room untouched, and you are certain there isn’t any leftover food/science experiment gone awry, then wait until they graduate to do a job like the one above.
But if you want to treat their former room as a hotel room, if you need the space for a home office, a guest room, or a gym, then schedule an organizing job like the one above for the next time they come back home for break. If it makes sense, gather all of their things from other areas and put them in their room. Set an appointment start and stop time, so they know it’s not going to be an endless job.
Be kind but specific. If you anticipate conflict, hire an organizing team to reduce that chance. Show your kid exactly what storage space they are allowed to occupy, like a specific number of storage bins, their old closet, a storage shelf in the basement, or an offsite storage locker. Without knowing how much space they are allowed to occupy, making keep/toss decisions can be tough.
My Kid has Flown, and I’m Still Stuck with their Clutter
A big part of our organizing business is helping parents clear out their adult children’s bedrooms when the parents are considering or in the process of downsizing. Often the children are in their 30’s, 40’s, or even 50’s by then. Many of our clients only get around to thinking about their children’s old bedrooms when there is a grandchild on the scene. If that’s you, read through the Five Stages of Throwing Out Your Adult Child’s Stuff.
