Your favorite older person (parent, aunt, maybe yourself) probably isn’t a hoarder, even if they look like it from across the room. As of 2015, about 15 million Americans are considered solo-agers, older than 50, with no spouse, partner, or children. There are more solo-agers every day. In fact, you might be solo-aging.

Paul, Carol, and Val (names have been changed) all have a story to tell about solo-aging and getting organizing help.

It’s Not Hoarding; It’s Solo-Aging

Hoarding disorder is a mental health disorder that can occur at any age. Help and treatment is available for what is also called chronic disorganization. Not every cluttered room means that the homeowner has hoarding disorder. But as we age, it’s not unusual to see a home or apartment get more cluttered and sometimes fall into disrepair. When that happens, look beyond the clutter for underlying reasons to find solutions for solo-agers.

It’s Inertia, not Hoarding

Paul’s sister called us to get some help with organizing. She and another brother live out of state. They thought that Paul, a solo-ager in his 70’s, might need a bit of help decluttering his apartment.

We met Paul, a healthy, independent man living in a two-story garage apartment. There were dusty piles on every surface and a guest room piled with empty boxes.

We learned that Paul was very happy to have some help clearing things out. But the real aha was seeing him go up and down the stairs, which were built oddly. Not only was he unsteady on the wonky stairs, but we became worried about the three separate steps to get into and around the apartment. Although he was used to them, they were still easy to trip over. The last straw was a wasp infestation he was afraid to tell his landlord about.

Paul had given up on computers, and he was overwhelmed with everything else. He was actually happy to get rid of things and said, “I’m impressed with what we got done. I don’t recognize it. It’s such a strain to have all of that clutter. It feels great to have it gone.”

When we told him about nice senior apartment building nearby, he moved himself in over a weekend. The “wonderful food” won him over. He was tired of eating cereal for every meal.

He thought it might take six months or more to empty his apartment, but we had him all settled in about three days. We enlisted a hauler to remove the broken furniture, piles of phone books, empty boxes, and everything else he didn’t need at his new place.

I now visit Paul at his new place. He didn’t want the hassle of a computer, but he enjoys meeting with his sister and brother via video on his iPad. Everyone at his new apartment greets him in the halls; I think he’s the building’s mayor. He attends a regular Bible study group in-house. He’s able to get help with getting to doctor’s appointments.

Starting with decluttering and ending with an easy move, he’s no longer stuck by the inertia of an apartment that was working against him.

It’s Memory Loss, not Hoarding

Carol’s out-of-state niece contacted me after she and her brother got a tip that their aunt’s memory might be declining. They visited and learned that her house was no longer safe, with so much clutter that it was hard to walk through the rooms or see the floors. The kitchen sink wasn’t draining. There was a thick layer of dust on everything. The house didn’t feel safe according to her niece.

By the time our organizing team arrived, the family had removed a dumpster of clutter from the first floor. We got the privilege of working with Carol on her clothes and personal things upstairs.

She was pretty happy to go through her clothes with us. She made decisions easily and loved “finding” some beautiful “new” outfits, many with tags still on. She was delightful, and we laughed together as we sorted through decades of clothes, many with memories or stories.

She donated five contractor bags of clothes (about 250 items), and now enjoys easily putting together cute outfits for work.

While her memory seemed fine during our morning appointments, we learned that she was often forgetful and exhausted in the evening. This phenomenon is called “sunsetting” and explains why a house falls into disrepair over time. A solo-ager just may not have physical energy or mental space to care for a house or things in it at the end of the day.

Her family is getting medical evaluations to see how to best help Carol with her memory and energy. Carol should be able to live in her own home for a long time, but a solo-ager doesn’t have to go it alone. She’ll have regular organizing appointments and other supports, like a handyman and her family checking in by phone and video.

It’s Vision Loss or Hearing Loss, not Hoarding

It’s hard to organize what you can’t see. It’s hard to interact with what you can’t hear and understand.

Shockingly, a large number of dementia cases are considered completely preventable with hearing aids and vision correction. Global health organizations are reporting that around 10% (or more) of dementia cases are induced by poor hearing and poor vision, risk factors that are easily controlled.  There are 14 preventable risk factors, among them:

• Make hearing aids available for all those with hearing loss and reduce harmful noise exposure.
• Make screening and treatment for vision impairment accessible for all.

If the eyes and ears send incomplete or garbled messages to the brain, the brain tries to compensate. You’ve probably mis-heard a phrase, but then realized quickly that “Reverend Blue Jeans” was really “forever in blue jeans.” Imagine having that experience all day long. Research shows that with hearing and vision loss, neurons no longer connect in the right way, leading to an increased risk of dementia.

Unfortunately, by the time we were called in to clear out Val’s home, she had suffered the aging triple threat: a major medical event (single car accident), partial vision loss, and declining health from a sedentary life alone at home. While technically not a solo-ager since her kids visited weekly, she ultimately needed more daily living support.

While we cleared out her belongings, we noticed signs that she hadn’t been able to keep up with her home or personal care. She had once enjoyed collectibles and vintage items, but her things were neglected, rotting, and spoiled by pests. Things that she once loved and had hoped to pass on to someone else were in such bad shape that her family just threw it all out.

Vision loss and hearing loss is tricky because a solo-ager may not notice the very gradual decline. Many people feel embarrassed and don’t seek treatment, or they may feel they can’t afford treatment when vision and hearing isn’t covered by health insurance. But new findings show that eye and ear health directly affects brain health. “The researchers suggest that treating hearing loss could delay, or even prevent, dementia for a large number of older adults.”

Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many. – Mark Twain

If It’s Not Hoarding, How to Get Solo-Aging Help

You may find it hard to bring up a difficult conversation with your favorite solo-ager, but, like in these three stories, they may really appreciate your help. Often, they don’t realize they need help, they don’t know who to ask for help, and they don’t even know that help exists.

The professional organizer is the resource you didn’t know you needed. At my company, we provide hands-on, problem solving solutions. We help with paperwork. We can also connect you with other resources like those below. And we can give family a clear-eyed view of what’s going on during the “off” days.

If you are in the Southeastern Pennsylvania area, please contact us by phone for a free consult. 

Find a Certified Professional Organizer throughout the US and the world at https://www.NAPO.net.

Contact your county’s office on aging for additional resources like transportation, meals, social gatherings for solo-agers, and local resources. They can also connect you with a local senior center in your area, where people can find free and low cost help with forms and essential services like lunches.

Ask neighbors for a handyman, painter, trash hauler, landscaper, pest treatment company, and other trades to help keep the house safe.

A house cleaner can help. Even people who have never hired a cleaning service before might need help with dusting, vacuuming, laundry, and dishes if they physically can’t do it anymore. At a certain point, having someone else clean not only conserves precious energy, but can also help keep someone safe from falls, allergies, and pests.

Contact your local library for tech support. They often have senior support days or classes for folks to learn about using an iPad or smartphone.